A group of Hells Angels roar up to a transport cafe and noisily tumble through the door shoving and pushing each other. There is one customer a truck driver who has just sat down to eat a large portion of egg and chips. The Angels sit down at the same table surrounding him. One of the Angels steals a chip and dips it in his egg. “What are you going to do about it old man?” The others laugh and help themselves to chips. The customer says nothing he just gets up and leaves. The leader of the Angels says “He wasn’t much of a man was he?” The cafe owner looking out the large front window overlooking the car park replies,”He’s not much of a driver either he’s just reversed his truck over some motor bikes.” This was told to me as a joke. There is something about the bully(s) getting their comeuppance that is appealing. The difference here is that the victim didn’t turn out to be a marshal arts expert who beat up the gang who picked on him. The truck driver was just an ordinary block who kept his cool and chose a smart way to get his revenge. So someone doing something we could imagine our selves doing in the same situation , maybe. Bullying is a problem at work. Bullies make some people’s life a misery. So is there a smart way to beat them? Don’t blame yourself, no one deserves to be bullied. Don’t confront the bully immediately, walk away. But studies tell us a passive response won’t work so don’t ignore it and hope it won’t happen again. The smart thing is don’t immediately go to HR this will escalate the situation, it will make it formal they will Immediately raise it with your manager and the bully who maybe the same. Instead try the psychological approach first.
Try and workout why the bully is preying on you. Do they consider you a threat to their career, is your output making them look bad? Are they worried you will take over as the unofficial leader of the group/office.
Ingratiate your self with senior management your bully may back off if they think you have friends in high places.
Network, get to know the influencers in HR, Finance,IT and join working groups, become know as someone who is helpful and easy to work with, the more people you know the less attractive you are to a bully.
Who are the bullies fiends, get to know them, if they think and say you seem ok the bully will stop running you down to them.
If these strategies fail don’t suffer in silence gather your evidence and present it to your manager and HR. If all else fails do they rid a motorbike?
Blair McPherson former director author and blogger www.blairmcpherson.co.uk
